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Welcome to The Psychology Podcast with Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, where we give you insights into the mind, brain, behavior and creativity. Each episode will feature a guest who will stimulate your mind, and give you a greater understanding of yourself, others, and the world we live in. Hopefully, we’ll also provide a glimpse into human possibility! Thanks for listening and enjoy the podcast.

Jan 24, 2019

Finding your voice, learning how to say what you mean, and how to listen deeply: this is one of the most rewarding journeys you can take.” — Oren Jay Sofer

Today we have Oren Jay Sofer on the podcast. Sofer teaches meditation and communication nationally. He holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University, and is a member of the Spirit Rock Teacher’s Council. He is also a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication, a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for healing trauma, and he is the Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools. Sofer is author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.

In this episode we discuss:


  • The importance of slowing down
  • Marshall Rosenberg’s system of nonviolent communication
  • How our behaviors can viewed as an attempt to meet a deeper need
  • Entering relationships from a sense of deprivation vs. a place of growth
  • The importance of relational awareness
  • The undervalued skill of healthy communication
  • Why intention is the single most important ingredient in dialogue
  • Martin Buber’s distinction between the I-Thou vs. I-It relationship
  • The importance of the “do over”
  • How to heal after a breakup
  • The importance of forgiveness and how it happens on its own time schedule